The American author, announcer and relationship coach, Nicole Rogers, shared her story of how she tried to save her 15-year marriage after her husband told her that he didn’t love her anymore. She called his family and friends, found a couples therapist, and even contacted his lover and the man with whom she had an affair, all in an attempt to convince him to stay.
However, nothing worked and the marriage fell apart in six weeks. After a traumatic last therapy session, Rogers reached her breaking point and told her husband to leave. She felt exhausted and confused about what the future held.
Rogers realized that she had been trying to change her husband for years without success. Her body was sending signals about the feeling of availability and unavailability. Unavailability was tense and exhausting while availability was open and relaxed.
She learned that feelings of tension and exhaustion are actually just “holy” incentives to look for them elsewhere; what if your body always directs you towards love? Rogers concluded that relaxation would be an invitation to the partnership she always wanted, without having to force or change the other person.